take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
