Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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