he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize