She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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