After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
