do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
You can't motorboat a personality
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
