the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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