He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
