brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The air was thick with penises
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Randomize
