dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize