You just made me feel so damn special
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I feel like death gave me a hand job
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
