Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
