brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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