Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
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