someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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