my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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