How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
smell my finger.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
