Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize