Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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