Your tits are I can't wait for
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
