I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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