what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize