WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
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