Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
