So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
