Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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