YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
And then he peed in my hair
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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