The maid of honor just puked.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
