Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
