VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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