definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize