i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You are a genius and a whore.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
