And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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