The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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