That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize