I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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