He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
