I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
