I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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