It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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