You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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