So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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