God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
