I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
