Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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