dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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