Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
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