the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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