I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Randomize
