he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize