I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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