Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
