come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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