im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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