Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize