dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
