oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize