Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
