in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize