he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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