my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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