I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
