I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
